Asking for help is a complicated process.

When is it okay to ask for help?  I mean… there’s a limit, isn’t there? Is it okay to ask for help once? Of course.  But, only if the need is great enough, right? How do you measure need? If I measure need differently than you measure need, and yours is the higher standard, if I ask you for help for my lesser need, how will you perceive me?  How will you respond to me? Will I be humiliated, or, somehow worse, left questioning what you really think of me?  When you say call if I need anything, you don’t really mean anything, right? I can’t call you to, let’s say, come get my mail from my mailbox and bring it to me, right?  If I have a medical emergency, I call 911, not you.  So I can’t cold call you, out of the blue, asking for help, because I don’t know how we measure need against each other.  And, even when you offer assistance I don’t know what anything means. Aha! But sometimes, you tell me, “Let me know if you need a ride!” Something to finally work with, until I realize.  What does need mean?  I have a car, and a license; I’m physically able to drive.  What if I’m just tired, I didn’t get much sleep? Or, what if I just want company?  Maybe I feel lazy.  But laziness is deadly, one of the forbidden sins.  If I don’t have money for gas then I must not have worked hard enough to earn my way through life.  If I didn’t earn it, then I don’t deserve it, I could call you, and we could drive, if needed I could make up a suitable story.  In the end it doesn’t matter, because you hold all the power.

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